There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
