I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
