The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
