you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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