Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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