Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
