i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
