THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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