I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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