the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
