I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
