walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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