Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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