I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
