He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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