Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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