My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
