So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Randomize
