we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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