you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
