She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
