I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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