I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize