party gras won. party gras always wins.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
