It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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