I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
