please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
