I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
