The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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