Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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