i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
