Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Your topless pictures make me question reality
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
