I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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