went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
we're so committed to being not committed
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
