The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize