I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize