would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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