how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
