I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
