there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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