I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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