I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
