I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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