I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
