Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
