What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
