I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
