last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
