First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
