Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
