You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
