someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
