My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
