Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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