You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
