GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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