are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
