My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize