I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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