therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
