oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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