If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I deserve to be covered in dicks
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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