Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
