im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
