Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
COCAINE IS GR8
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
