You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
