Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize