Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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