WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
